I don't know who first coined the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child," though I know it was the title of a book by Hillary Clinton. I'm not sure of the source, and don't want to attract throngs of Clinton-haters to this blog (though don't worry, I don't kid myself that the throngs will ever arrive...) so I'll just say, I don't know who said it, but it is so so true.
Our Baby Bear isn't even here yet and I already realize how true that statement is. We have so many amazing friends and family members already willing to pitch in and help. Aunties T and B cleaned our house better than it's ever been this weekend, part of their gift to us for the birth (one whole YEAR of cleanings, one a month, for Baby Bear's first year). Grandma Bear arrived Sunday and has been SUCH a help so far, getting Mama Bear focused on birth stuff, making delicious dinners and just providing an extra set of hands around the house. And the list goes on and on.
Not a day goes by where one of our friends doesn't drop a note in my inbox or call on the phone and ask "is there anything we can do?" And the amazing part is, they really mean it. We have some soups already on their way to our freezer, offers to mow the lawn and walk the dog, offers for emergency babysitting...the list goes on and on.
And you know what? I think we have so much support because of who we are. I don't mean "who we are" like "Oh, Mama Bear and Butch Mama are SOOO cool and great that people fall all over themselves to help out." No, that's not what I mean at all. We have so much support because we are lesbians. I am sure of this. Here's why: I think women in general are better at offering help and knowing what needs to be done, especially around new baby arrivals. AND, I think our community in general (the greater GLBT, not just lesbians) helps each other out more - the whole idea of chosen family.
I feel blessed right now, even as we discover a few instances where folks we thought would be helpful are decidedly not (I won't name names, but boy, it's a doozy). I feel blessed to have helpful folks to compare those people with to be able to say "Nope, you don't measure up, you're out of the chosen family."
And right now, even as I read things that anti-gay marriage or family folks publish or say, I'm not as angry anymore. Now, those statements just make me feel pity for those folks, because they will never know the joy of chosen family like we do, and their kids will never grow up with this many loving caring individuals around them.
Now if only I could feel pity for those folks who remained nameless up above...the non-helpfuls. The ex-family members. I'm trying, but....nope, not there yet. Still just angry. I'll keep trying though....
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Shower!
The shower was last Saturday, and I can't believe I haven't written about it yet. It was fantastic...great weather, low key, everyone having fun and wonderful gifts.
We decided to have a book shower, because there is a really big bookcase in your room Baby Bear, and the bottom shelf was the only one that was full, and it held Mama Bear's 50+ books on childbirth and pregnancy. I know you are going to be a scholar, but I just can't imagine that you really want to start out life reading "Stories of Natural Childbirth" or "Essays on a Natural Birth" or some of the other titles on that shelf. So we outfitted a few more shelves with gifts last Saturday.
And you know what buddy? We have some amazing friends, because they all put SO much thought into these books. One gift even included books through the ages, so you'll be reading these gifts until your early teen years! Amazing! I was really touched by the thought folks put into their gifts, and can't wait to read them with you. I can actually wait though, so don't come before Monday....Grandma Bear won't be here until some time Sunday, and Mama Bear and I are going to see Neil Diamond Sunday, so stay put until at least then, okay?
We decided to have a book shower, because there is a really big bookcase in your room Baby Bear, and the bottom shelf was the only one that was full, and it held Mama Bear's 50+ books on childbirth and pregnancy. I know you are going to be a scholar, but I just can't imagine that you really want to start out life reading "Stories of Natural Childbirth" or "Essays on a Natural Birth" or some of the other titles on that shelf. So we outfitted a few more shelves with gifts last Saturday.
And you know what buddy? We have some amazing friends, because they all put SO much thought into these books. One gift even included books through the ages, so you'll be reading these gifts until your early teen years! Amazing! I was really touched by the thought folks put into their gifts, and can't wait to read them with you. I can actually wait though, so don't come before Monday....Grandma Bear won't be here until some time Sunday, and Mama Bear and I are going to see Neil Diamond Sunday, so stay put until at least then, okay?
Friday, July 11, 2008
Happy Birthday Mama Bear!
It's Mama Bear's birthday! She is now only 1 year younger than me...at least until Spring when I again become 2 years older for 4 months...during which time she reminds me of that difference at least 5 times. But that's one of the many reasons we love Mama Bear, her sense of humor.
I have to tell you Baby Bear, you are one lucky kid, because that Mama of yours nearly forgot her birthday because she is so damn excited about your pending arrival. That's the kind of mom you want to have buddy, trust me. In fact, I think I will force you to read this post the first day that you say "you don't care about me" to your mother. And if you are really stubborn and won't read it yourself, I will read it to you out loud. Because you might be really stubborn. After all, you do have 1/2 of Mama Bear's DNA, and she is, what you would call, a very determined lady (read stubborn like a bull sometimes!)
Our shower (which is a weird word isn't it? I guess it's because you "shower" a person with gifts? But you do that at a birthday party too, don't you?) is tomorrow, and Aunties T and B have been working away to get it ready for you. I can't wait for you to meet them Baby Bear, they are part of our family, and you are the luckiest little man in the world to have their wide range of talents and interests at your little disposal.
I am excited for the shower. I was more excited to give Mama Bear her gift though, because I was really hoping she would like it as much as I thought she might (and she did! Hooray!). I love giving gifts, (especially to Mama Bear) way more than I do getting them, but I am excited to see all our friends tomorrow.
We weren't going to have a shower, but one of our amazing midwives mentioned that it is good to have a chance to celebrate this baby's new life with your close friends and family, which I totally agree with. I guess that is the "reason behind the season" for showers, and something that can get forgotten in all the "are you registered and who bought us the dirty diaper pail?" hoopla these things can bring.
So, I will post an update of the shower soon. For now, I need to get ready to take Mama Bear out for dinner. So behave tonight Baby Bear, I want her to be able to eat without your gloriously long legs poking her gut!!
I have to tell you Baby Bear, you are one lucky kid, because that Mama of yours nearly forgot her birthday because she is so damn excited about your pending arrival. That's the kind of mom you want to have buddy, trust me. In fact, I think I will force you to read this post the first day that you say "you don't care about me" to your mother. And if you are really stubborn and won't read it yourself, I will read it to you out loud. Because you might be really stubborn. After all, you do have 1/2 of Mama Bear's DNA, and she is, what you would call, a very determined lady (read stubborn like a bull sometimes!)
Our shower (which is a weird word isn't it? I guess it's because you "shower" a person with gifts? But you do that at a birthday party too, don't you?) is tomorrow, and Aunties T and B have been working away to get it ready for you. I can't wait for you to meet them Baby Bear, they are part of our family, and you are the luckiest little man in the world to have their wide range of talents and interests at your little disposal.
I am excited for the shower. I was more excited to give Mama Bear her gift though, because I was really hoping she would like it as much as I thought she might (and she did! Hooray!). I love giving gifts, (especially to Mama Bear) way more than I do getting them, but I am excited to see all our friends tomorrow.
We weren't going to have a shower, but one of our amazing midwives mentioned that it is good to have a chance to celebrate this baby's new life with your close friends and family, which I totally agree with. I guess that is the "reason behind the season" for showers, and something that can get forgotten in all the "are you registered and who bought us the dirty diaper pail?" hoopla these things can bring.
So, I will post an update of the shower soon. For now, I need to get ready to take Mama Bear out for dinner. So behave tonight Baby Bear, I want her to be able to eat without your gloriously long legs poking her gut!!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Waiting is the Hardest Part...
Dear readers (all three of you):
I vow that I will not cop out on the next post and use a song title as the title of the post. I realize this is about as cheap a writing ploy as starting your paper for an English class with some very deep quote, and I apologize, but give me a break, it's hot outside and I haven't been feeling very creative.
But, back to the lecture at hand (ugh! that's a song lyric too! I can't even stop myself!)....waiting. I am growing very very tired of waiting for your arrival Baby Bear, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen any time soon.
Mama Bear's feet are swelling more now, but you seem to be rather high in the tummy BB, and this leads me to believe that you may become an August baby, rather than a "last day of July" baby as you are now scheduled. That doesn't stop at least 8 people per day from asking me when you're due to get here though, so I say "July 30th at least that many times per day...and then think "or later." And then get more impatient.
But don't hurry on my account buddy, you just stay in there until you're good and ready to arrive. Seriously, it's crazy out here. Hot, high gas prices, expensive milk, nutso neighbors. You just take advantage of all that free food and what I imagine is a nicely climate controlled environment while you can. Mama Bear and I will continue doing little putsy things, and avoid the not fun things (like washing all of your tiny Baby Bear clothes so you don't get the dreaded "fresh from the store" rash) and we'll be here when you're ready. But for the time being, could you lay off of the kicking Mama Bear in the ribs? That's REALLY uncomfortable for her, so try to be a little more gentle okay? There will be plenty of time for roughhousing with me when you get out of there and a little more sure on your feet. But Mama Bear? She doesn't like the roughhousing, so wait for me on that one.
I vow that I will not cop out on the next post and use a song title as the title of the post. I realize this is about as cheap a writing ploy as starting your paper for an English class with some very deep quote, and I apologize, but give me a break, it's hot outside and I haven't been feeling very creative.
But, back to the lecture at hand (ugh! that's a song lyric too! I can't even stop myself!)....waiting. I am growing very very tired of waiting for your arrival Baby Bear, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen any time soon.
Mama Bear's feet are swelling more now, but you seem to be rather high in the tummy BB, and this leads me to believe that you may become an August baby, rather than a "last day of July" baby as you are now scheduled. That doesn't stop at least 8 people per day from asking me when you're due to get here though, so I say "July 30th at least that many times per day...and then think "or later." And then get more impatient.
But don't hurry on my account buddy, you just stay in there until you're good and ready to arrive. Seriously, it's crazy out here. Hot, high gas prices, expensive milk, nutso neighbors. You just take advantage of all that free food and what I imagine is a nicely climate controlled environment while you can. Mama Bear and I will continue doing little putsy things, and avoid the not fun things (like washing all of your tiny Baby Bear clothes so you don't get the dreaded "fresh from the store" rash) and we'll be here when you're ready. But for the time being, could you lay off of the kicking Mama Bear in the ribs? That's REALLY uncomfortable for her, so try to be a little more gentle okay? There will be plenty of time for roughhousing with me when you get out of there and a little more sure on your feet. But Mama Bear? She doesn't like the roughhousing, so wait for me on that one.
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